I just want it to be over. What exactly, I am not sure. Life, no: There's so much to do. Pain? No, there's so much to learn. Disagreement... No. There's so much to be said.
But at the same time, I am tired of doing. I am tired of trying and failing and no one seeing my efforts. In the same way, I am weary of the grief and stress and hurt and fear thrust upon me. I barely am able to hold my head up these days, and I'm sick of being weak. While this is all occurring, I'm just so longing for some silence. I yearn for a day when the people around me are quiet long enough to hear the sounds they've forgotten even were. I am ready to see the time in which I can hear my thoughts clearly, not quite a whisper, but like it. I want the selfishness gone and an appreciation for things so sweet to be ignited in not just the heart of man, but the mind of this world.
Emily,
ReplyDeleteYour heart yearns for the same thing every woman yearns for. You are a human being, not a human doing. Your heart at rest is much stronger than your heart when it is striving. Let your heart rest in the knowledge that God created your heart to exude the idea that everything is well, everything is right with the world. I know the feeling you have, and it comes back to me often. You are a beautiful young woman and I just want you to "be" not to worry about what to "do." That will make it much easier for your heart to find its place. :)
Love, Grace, and Peace,
Audrey