Want

Want, want, 
little want. 
Consuming want, 
fresh desire. 
It's a hurting want and it's 
temporary. 
It's a needed want, a wanting want, a want that never ends. 
Want, want, 
tragic want. 
This want in itself doesn't hurt, but help. 
It's a want unwanted to stop. 
This is a that's wanted greatly, mostly. 
This want, this desire, this 
(un) satisfying       gap... 

Birthday

Well, it's my birthday!! I plan to do something with my family, but I don't know if I'll wait for all of my friends to be in town to have a get-together with them or not. That's probably what I'm going to do. I'm also getting a laptop from my parents! 


 I wish I didn't expect a birthday party... I wish I didn't expect gifts or anything on my "special day." We often say, "Oh, you didn't have to get me anything," or "I don't expect any gifts this year." But honestly, think about it. If someone didn't throw most of us parties, we would be hurt. If we didn't get that special cake or ice cream with a new pair of shoes, we'd be disappointed. I do that. And I wish I didn't. But how do you train yourself not to? I'm still thinking about that question and its answer. 


 It feels no different being sixteen. I remember thinking two or three years ago, "I cannot stand how teenagers always want to be OLDER. Why can't people just be happy where they are? They're still kids, anyway. I'll be satisfied when I turn fifteen, dangit." I still think people should be satisfied where we are, and I believe I'm still a kid (and will be until I'm twenty... But I'll still be immature then, I know.), but I wish to be older. I feel like a baby, but it's okay! I won't wish my life away, as they say. Whoever "they" are. People in general, I'm guessing. Or sayings. Whatever. 


 This post is of very low importance, but I figured I should say something, anything, since I "only turn sixteen once." I find all of this humorous, though, myself included. 


 My sweet mother and brother had me take off work early today so that I don't have to work all day on my birthday, which is thoughtful. And I am grateful! 


 I have always said that I would use my "sweet sixteen" as an excuse to throw a huge party, but now I'm not so sure. Maybe I will, but then again, maybe I won't. I'm not really one for parties anymore, anyway. 


 Well, now I will leave you, readers, with a few random wise words (not from myself, of course). 


 Whatever God has called to happen to you, it is to make you more and more like Christ, and He is worth it. 


 Have a great day, and I hope it's not as jumbled as this. But if it is, I hope you learn from it, and I hope you enjoy it at its end. 

This Is Beauty. You Are Beauty.

Do You find my love for You beautiful? Please do, please accept it as this offering. All I can rightfully give You is myself, dear King. I will be Your faithful servant, made strong and courageous by Your omniscient being and perfect love and grace.
I long to give You whatall I have. I am forever grateful, eternally Yours. Turn my hurt to beauty made complete by You. My heart and soul cry out to know You, to hear You, to feel You, to see You. I dream of You. My heart and soul cry out Your glory; let my life reflect You.


You fill my life with passion, with care, with love. You fill my life with a passion for care and for love. I long to be beautiful in Your sight, dear God.
Thank You.

Purvis

I hardly know you, so how torn can I be?
It isn't if I know you like my voice, it is that I know you.
I've known you all my life, since I was a small child.
So how much can I not know you?
The degree of this isn't the matter, but it is this: it is that I know you.
It isn't if I know you like my little hands, or even my tiny footsteps. It is that I know you.
It is that you've been carved into my heart, onto my heart, and into my life.
It is that I do know you, and that I love you.
So seeing you go is hard, seeing you leave like this is mighty difficult.
But I'll hold this head high, knowing it is what you'll want when you are gone.
And I'm comforted by the sweet assurance that I will see your face again, and that I


do know you.

Lord, Provide

My life feels a tragedy. In a hell of my own, sick of waiting. This night is so cold, so long, so fierce. Only the strong finish with pieces left. I fear all will be gone, or I'll be stuck here for always.


   But You promised me forever, and I'm believing Your name. Oh, this night is covered. A sheet I can't remove, lifting it is too much. Take this burden, make it Yours to keep. Do away with this, or do away with me.


  This life seems a game, always hoping for more. I can not hope any longer. Jesus, take me in Your arms. Hold me through this darkness. I'm staying with You, so comfort me. Give me rest, give me peace. I am weary and freezing, losing my life.


  You promised me forever, and I'm believing Your name. Oh, this night is covered. A sheet I cant remove, lifting is too much. Take my burdens, make them Yours to keep. You'll do away with them, or do away with me.


  This life is a testimony, though in the making. The storm will pass on, and the night grow to day. Heaven is my future, an eternity with You. No more sorrow, no more pain. You'll bring me out alive, though my world is falling. But it is as I know it, and I trust there is light peeking over. 


  You promised me forever, with You forever I will stay. Take my burdens and my life, and shine through me. Do away with my sadness. I am Yours forever. Forever Yours, Jesus, now hold me through the night. 

If I

If          I          walk, 

If          I          sing, 

If          I          run, 

will you join me? 

Until          I          walk, 

Until          I          sing, 

Until          I          run, 

will you join me? 

After          I          walk, 

After          I          sing,

After          I          run, 

will you join me?

When          I          walk, 

When          I          sing, 

When          I          run, 

will you join me?

Or will you just be with me?




Please let me know what you think of when you read this. I'm doing a little experiment for my own delight and it needs verbal reactions/responses. One of my friends read this and asked me, "Is this referring to Heaven?" Heaven was not my inspiration, but I LOVED THAT. I still do. I honestly thought of many different things when writing this. There are numerous possibilities, but Heaven was not one that I had even considered. I love that each person has his own way of perceiving things. Okay, please let me know, and have a good day, all :)

Track 03

    His power is great and His love is changing. 

    Come speak to me and show me Your might. Hold me, lift me, shift my face in Your direction. 

    Bring on the conviction and mold me to be Your vessel. 

    Show me beauty and knowledge, show me what they truly are. 

                                                                                                      You                

    

    Keep me and guide me and don't hide Your gentle spirit, oh my God. 

    I want to serve and I want to learn. I need to. 

                                                                                          You.                                  

    

    I see to. o                                                         

             k                                                                  

               You.                                                                   

   

    This can't be all; I know it's not. I'm reaching, I'm running, I'm climbing and finding 

  

You.