Track 07

    This story is the same, this truth like any other. Have you read it? 
                                                                                                                 into 
    Have you heard it? 
                            all of 
My fear sure is captivating, do you not agree? Was this the reason for your force? Or did it just excite you? 
                                                                                                                                                     does 
    Maybe you'd like to wallow in it, to com                    mit again and again. Maybe I just need to stop. Or to keep on going, to keep on moving, to go on forward, to not fall 
                                                                                                                            back. 


    I wish I could let you go, but my force isn't quite as strong as yours. 
    Or maybe your force isn't strong at all, maybe this is my fault. 
    I shouldn't have been so naive, shouldn't have been so calm.
    I guess I thought you saw me screaming. 




This poem doesn't have a title and probably doesn't even need one. For anyone reading, this was written a long time ago and what is said is said because of a hard time that I had gone through in my lifetime. So many times, I did not see much hope for anything, including myself. This is evident in many of my writings, including this one. If I share them, it is not necessarily because I am being haunted or want pity. It is just my sharing of some of my poetry. Christ has brought me a long way and helped me to conquer the hurt and fear that I allowed myself to nearly be consumed by. Thanks for reading and have a wonderful evening! 

Just Somethin'

This is something simple and beautiful that my wonderful friend, Bethany, wrote for her older brother who was recently married called, "When He Saw His Bride." 


The church doors swung open, 
The people looked on, 
An audience witnessed, 
His seeing his bride! 


He looked to her with love. 
She looked to him with respect. 
It was as if time stood still 
When he saw his bride. 


Her face radiated beauty, 
His face showed joy. 
Together love abounded 
While he saw his bride. 


When he looked to her 
No joy was concealed, 
No delight unexpressed; 
Everyone knew 
He was seeing his bride! 


Just as time started 
And as time will end, 
Wedding love was unfailing 
When he saw his bride. 


As that message sunk in 
A smile emerged, 
A tear drop tickled 
As he was seeing his bride. 


From this point forward 
He's Christ to his bride. 
He'll love her and cherish her, 
Smile


Each time he sees his bride! 

Girlfriends

     I started my day off today with some reading and blogging and music-listening, and around 3:30 I went to see Cars 2 with my family. It was a very cute movie! We went to Dairy Queen afterward and I really had a great time! A good friend of mine then picked me up from the "restaurant," (if you can call it that?? Fast food place...) and we met a sweet pal of ours at the movies to see the new Transformers movie. I liked it so much more than the other movies! I haven't seen the first one in a while so I don't remember how I liked it, but I do know that I liked it a lot more than the second and third movies. After the movie we decided to go to Wal-Mart and pick up some ice cream and a few spoons and hang out for a little bit. We (Hannah...) purchased Blue Bunny's Blackberry Cobbler ice cream and a pack of three metal spoons- nothing special- and took them out to Alex's car. We sat with the windows down and laughed about Camaros and parenting and teenagers as we stuffed our faces with that frozen yum. We then decided to make it a monthly tradition, and along with the other two, I do hope we stick to it. I enjoyed myself a lot and was just very happy to have that time with them both. Time with friends is always wonderful, but a time like that with a very small group of girlfriends is one of the greatest blessings and will definitely make for fabulous memories. Alex took me home once we decided it was time to depart so curfews would not be broken, and we talked the whole way back. We spoke about our beliefs and the Bible and fellow believers and particular books of the Bible and ways God has been speaking to us. We ended the ride, the discussion, and the night together by landing on the idea of reading Esther together and going over it. I am very excited to see what God has in store for us as individuals and I'm glad for my friendship with those two lovely ladies. Goodnight, everyone!! 

Segment From Mark 4

     "Again Jesus began teaching by the lake. A great crowd gathered around him, so he sat down in a boat near the shore. All the people stayed on the shore close to the water. Jesus taught them many things, using stories. He said, 
     'Listen! A farmer went out to plant his seed. While he was planting, some seed fell by the road, and the birds came and ate it up. Some seed fell on rocky ground where there wasn't much dirt. That seed grew very fast, because the ground was not deep. But when the sun rose, the plants dried up because they did not have deep roots. Some other seed fell among thorny weeds, which grew and choked the good plants. So those plants did not produce a crop. Some other seed fell on good ground and began to grow. It got taller and produced a crop. Some plants made thirty times more, some made sixty times more, and some made a hundred times more.' Then Jesus said to them, 'Let those with ears use them and listen!' 
     Later, when Jesus was alone, the twelve apostles and others around him asked him about the stories. Jesus said,
     'You can know the secret about the kingdom of God. But to other people I tell everything by using stories so that: They will look and look, but they will not learn. They will listen and listen, but they will not understand. If they did learn and understand, they would come back to me and be forgiven. (Isaiah 6:9-10) 
     Then Jesus said to His followers, 
     'Don't you understand this story? If you don't, how will you understand any story?'" 


Jesus then goes on to explain what the story means. I was reading this passage this morning and when I came to the story about the farmer and his seeds, I read through it quickly and didn't really think about it when I read. Directly proceeding the story, Jesus says, "'Let those with ears use them and listen!'" The translation of the Bible that I have right now is The New Century Version, so the usual, "Let those who have ears hear," commonly heard is not used like it's remembered regularly. I don't particularly like this version that I have and am planning to purchase a new Bible sometime very soon, but the Word of God is powerful and the Holy Spirit will speak one way or the other, no matter the translation (unless of course His words are taken away from or twisted, but in what I have read so far, that isn't the case.). Anyway, I read the story and read what Jesus had to say directly after and thought, "Wow, powerful." But I did not actually think about the story itself. I then thought about Jesus's telling me to hear/listen and was convicted for not thinking about the story. I knew what it meant because it's been taught in Sunday School seemingly every couple weeks as I've grown up. But was I really thinking about it for myself? I've thought about it before, but I was so disgusted with myself then. I am constantly asking other people to actually think and rethink about what they say or what I say or what others around them say, and I wasn't thinking about what Jesus Christ was saying. Even if I knew or know what was being said, that doesn't excuse the lack of thought and the laziness that sank into my head. Before I even knew it I was living out the very meaning of hypocrisy. Praise Christ for the Holy Spirit!  
     I see so many people whose lives reflect the seeds that do not grow at all or the seeds who grow and die shortly after. My heart's desire is to be the seed that falls on the good ground and flourishes. Though my heart and its desires may seem important, they are not unless I allow God to use and to change and to shape them. God must, "be grace in me," as I heard in a sermon from Louie Giglio a couple weeks ago. That has to be our continual prayer: Holy God, Heavenly Father, be grace in me. If you enjoyed reading this in the slightest or were intrigued in any way, I would appreciate it greatly if you responded and told me what you thought. Have a wonderful day! 

Track 06

     Peace is such a strange thing, and it takes many different forms. A summer's day, a calming song, a sweet dance. A classic book, a full embrace, a long-awaited bride, a dream of comfort. A smile behind tearsyears, a distant hope on its way. And it's all we want. A life of pain would be our sole desire if it meant peace would somehow find us. And it's such a comfort, such a joy when it's finally within our grasp, ready to be consumed by our fickle and unsatisfied longings... Since we know it just has to be said somewhere that it is our belonging; we must be entitled to it. 


Just a little something I wrote! I'm interested in hearing your views. 

Anonymous (Looking In All the Wrong Areas)

     I'm looking for an inspiration, something that'll shape me. I'm finding a blank stare, a grand expectation turned to utter disappointment. I'm going for a train that'll take me anywhere but here, a train to cross some forests and those mountains and the barriers and these cities and a sea; I'm running from that man yonder, that boy holding my heart. I lost it some time ago, but the story's not like you think. It was taken by force, by unknown force, making naive terror, making me fall apart,
     by that fool yonder holding my heart. 
How's this for inspiration? I don't think it's too catching, don't think it's of a peaceful conductor. 
     So I'll climb in this coal carrier, I'll shoot for away. 
                                                                                         far 
     That song on yonder, that sword far on; 
     How's this for unfinished, how's it for the piercing ending hoped for? 
     Well I was done with hope a long time ago, I was through hoping way, way over yonder. So forgive me if the train runs you over, I've forgiven it(')s leaving me behind. 
     I'm going for that collection of carts, one that'll take me anywhere but here. 

"I Have a Tickle In My Brain,"

     Okay, I am just going to share this little adventure that I had the other day! It was pretty exciting, in my opinion. So, a few weeks ago a young woman about my age commented on one of my posts, asking me to check out her blog. I did out of curiosity and found that I enjoy it quite a bit. We have not had any contact with each other, just reading each girl's thoughts, which is very nice! I was skimming a few days ago and found this quotation, "I have a tickle in my brain. And it keeps making the corners of my mouth point toward the heavens." I read that and automatically loved it, and when I read that it was from a "Jeb Dickerson," I figured I may as well follow the curiosity that was arousing in my mind. I guess I just wanted to know who this man was, what the context of the quotation was, and if "Tori" had just stumbled on it by chance, as I was doing. I googled the name and after a few clicks, I was brought to a website by the name of, "howtomatter.com." I do not know what it is exactly, but it seems to be some kind of website started by this, "Jeb Dickerson," to help people start their own websites or blogs and the such. I would encourage you to check it out and just read his, "About," section. Anyway, I saw a section entitled, "Quotes," and thought, Oh! This may be what I'm looking for! I checked it out and read many things that made me smile and many that made me just sit and think for a minute. I finally found the one I was looking for and felt very accomplished and content with the journey I had just completed. I saw at the very bottom of the page an area in which I could comment and saw that others had commented already, so I decided to leave a brief comment explaining my adventure and thanking "Jeb," for the smile he brought my day! I was pleasantly surprised with the different quotes that I read from him and with the information he gave on his website, which I was and am completely uninterested in. Mr. Dickerson also left a comment proceeding mine that made me very glad! He said, 

     "Hi Emily, 

That's the way it often goes online...reading one thing inspires a curiosity that leads to something else, and so on. I'm grateful you kept at it and found me. As for the context of that quote, I wish I could recall, but as with much of my writing, it came from a unique and fleeting thought that has long been forgotten. But if it resonates with you, or anyone else, at any moment along your path, then I count it a success. Thanks so much for taking the time." 

     Curiosity is such a beautiful thing. I don't mean it in its usual, "Curiosity killed the cat," form. I believe that is just being nosy. Being nosy killed the cat. Curiosity would've sparked something in him to do something better with himself. Then again, he's just a cat. So maybe this should only apply to people. Google brought me to a few definitions of the word according to Webster, one being, "the desire to know." That leans a little more to the "nosy" side. Next! Wikipedia shares,

      "Curiosity is an emotion related to natural inquisitive behavior such as exploration, investigation, and learning, evident by observation in human and many animal species. The term can also be used to denote the behavior itself being caused by the emotion of curiosity." 

     So, maybe one would need more information to get a better opinion on "curiosity." I currently stand on the believing side that curiosity is a fantastic and beautiful thing. Once that natural tendency to have the desire to learn and to know steps past boundaries of the beauty and into the selfish part, it then becomes "nosiness," a negative trait or thing. But also, isn't that how everything is? Once we as sinners step into selfishness, the beauty and goodness of God is distorted into sin. We twist it. Satan twists it. My dad and I actually had a conversation about what I was just referring to a few days ago! It was an enjoyable conversation. Anyway, I think I am going to cease my rambling. I am grateful to and amused by anyone who read through to the end of this, and I honestly wish I could have put more time and thought into this to make it smooth and a pretty darn good thing to go over. Ah, well. Have a fabulous night, anyone reading, and thank you for your time.