Friday, August 12, 2011

Heya, Hubby. (I'm Not Ever Going to Call My Husband That...)

  My husband thinks about what he wants me to be like. I want to be everything he dreams of or will dream of one day. I like to think about him, but I like to think about knowing him even more. The following are dreams. . .



I want a man who can build things with his hands.

I want a man who can look past my failures and see the most beautiful woman he has ever known. 

I want a man who I can respect.

I want a man who will lovingly tell me where and how I’m failing and I want a man who will help me where and when I fail.

I want a man who can laugh at himself more than others, but I do want him to be able to laugh at others without worrying about offending somebody.

I want a man who will admit that he is scared, but I want a man who isn’t scared often. I want him to be the bravest person I have ever met, and I want him to be the most God-fearing man I have ever spoken with. I want him to recognize courage.

I want a man who writes. I care not if he is talented, but I want him to write because he wants to write. I want him to write about his thoughts and his observations and his surroundings and his passions, but I want him to voice his insecurities rather than write them, or learn to one day.

I want a man who does not care what other people think, but I do want a man who is caring.

I want a man my dad will respect greatly.

I want a man who is always learning. I want a man who will encourage me to learn, as well, and I want a man who will constantly teach me.

I want a man who wants adventure, and I want a man who will take me to adventure or who will make adventure out of everything.

I want a man who thinks more than he speaks.

I want a man who knows commitment.

I want a man who weighs more than 170 lbs., please.

I want a man who does not bring those around him down with negativity, but I want a man who does not run from the truth, even if it feels or seems negative.

I want a gentleman, I want a wise man, I want a kind man, I want an honest man, and I want a romantic man.

I want a man who is calming.

I want a man who thinks pregnant women are the most adorable things he’s ever seen.

I want a man who makes me laugh, even if he isn’t funny.

I want a man who finds new ways to tell me and show me that I am beautiful the more time I spend with him.

I want a man who loves children. 

I want a man who is very encouraging. 

I want a man who isn’t scared to lead.

I want a man who my family will absolutely adore.

I want a man who is hard-working.

I want a man who loves to dance. 

Friday, August 5, 2011

For You

     Your magnificent beauty sweeps me off my feet. Keep shining, keep showing Your glory. It amazes me. You sustain me. I no longer must worry, no longer fear. You hold me, You change me, You make me beautiful. You are strength, You are comfort. You bring me overwhelming joy, and I must thank You. You hold my head up, facing Your skies. 
     Painter, hand-maker, my sweet Creator. Powerful, different, the dearest Author. Father, Your glory is no secret. Listener, keeper of my heart.  

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Track 11

Run, run, coward, run.
Speak, speak, fool, speak.
Realize, scoffer, realize.
Realize.
You can't help it, can you? You don't want it, do you? You won't see it, will you?
Real lies.
You listen with your voice. I watch it with my ears. Journey with the heart. Speak with our eyes.

Monday, August 1, 2011

Mission Uptown

     So, I just got back from Chicago on a mission trip with my youth group. We left last Sunday at eight and got back Saturday night. I want to share some of the things I enjoyed and learned and hope you enjoy and learn from reading them, even through my scattering!
     First of all, I would like to share that I am a bit of a perfume-addict. My friends make fun of me because I own so many different types and when I go to the mall, I run for places that sell perfume; when I meet somebody, I talk about their scent; when I smell bad, I smell trouble. I love to be clean and I cannot stand bad breath. Three bathrooms were in the building we stayed in, and thirty-two people from our church came on the trip. This means there were three showers, three toilets, three sinks, three tiny rooms in which one could find some privacy, approximately ten boys who thought they could go without a couple (or three) showers every few days since we really didn't have much room, time, or hot water. This resulted in an Emily who was placed, already, pretty far outside of her comfort level. The most funny thing about this is that it's what I asked for. Before the trip, I asked God to make me as uncomfortable as possible. I wanted to be on my toes and needing to run to Him just about every second of the week. That's about what I got, too. 
     Almost every night our group met in the main area of this place we stayed in and had a devotional, talked about different things we should or we did learn about, laughed, worshipped through song, and just had a meeting time of fellowship in general. After we arrived in Uptown Sunday evening, Cory, our youth pastor, gave us all time to settle in. We were all so tired of the bus and were so glad to be able to start our week together! God knew the week had already started, as well as His work. We met that evening and decided to leave at 7 o'clock the next morning for breakfast. That meant I was getting up 6:30 a.m. I should've mentioned that I'm also a sleep-addict. I lay down to rest around 11:30 p.m. 
     I won't go into the boring details much anymore, so be grateful. But it is not because I am sparing you- it is because I have a terrible memory. Enjoy it. 
     I'm going to explain our day's routine and then continue with the more important things. This goes for just about each day of the week. 

     1. Get up. 
     2. Get ready. 
     3. Eat breakfast. 
     4. Walk to Uptown Baptist for Pastor Allen's morning devotional. 
     5. Allow and enjoy the walk/tour he proceeded to give of the area. 
     6. Work on different jobs in smaller groups like painting for the church and talking and praying with people on the street. 
     7. Walk to lunch. 
     8. Gather things needed to work for the day. 
     9. Be split up into your groups and walk to the places the jobs should be done. (Monday my group went to The People's Music School and helped how the woman in charge told us we could.) 
     10. Walk to supper. 
     11. Go back to the rooms and start the showers. 
     12. Around 10 o'clock we would meet and 11 or a little bit after was lights out. 

     Okay, that's now out of the way. Monday evening there was a "Monday Night Meal" at Uptown Baptist, and our church's praise band helped in the leading of the music-worship. That was a bit uncomfortable because we were expecting microphones and the such to be used, and we hadn't gotten to practice with everybody in the group yet. Because we kept our eyes on Jesus, though, Christ was glorified. After the music time we invited the people to come to the front and pray with us. I prayed with a woman by the name of Ruby. When that was finished the music leader, Tim, gave a little sermon. Humorously yet sadly, he was interrupted several times because of a man by the name of Walter- Hallelujah Walter is what he's known as. Walter wanted Tim to share what God meant by sincerity in the verse he was going over. After the service we passed out hygiene packs to all of the people, and it was powerful to see how many were so, so grateful for them and for us. 
     Tuesday, after lunch, I went with Jerold (a great man from the church who helped us with many different things, including showing us how to get from place to place in the city), Brandon Harris, his daughter, Abbi Harris, and Kat VonAllmen to do puppets in the park for the children. I was very excited about having the opportunity to do this because I love children. I knew I would not be dealing with children much throughout the week and excitingly pounced at the idea of it. As we were walking to the park we saw a group of about six or seven elderly people and decided we'd stop by and do a show for them and talk with them. We gathered around and asked if they'd be alright with it, and they approved with their sweet smiles. After we performed a few songs (Kat and I are buff now from holding our arms up for so long!), we turned the music off and took the puppets over to them, sat, and talked with them. Turns out they were all Russian people, and each was Jewish. They'd met and were friends because all of them lived in the apartments across the street and had the Russian-Jew bit in common. They sat in that little park every day that the weather was nice and enjoyed the time spent with each other. A few of them did not know English at all and needed the others who did to translate for them. The woman I talked with the most and sat next to knew the most English of the group, but she still had trouble understanding some things that were said. It was so nice to just sit with them and get to know them!! One woman who Kat talked to a lot had such a good time playing with the bright red bird puppet, and she put on a nice little show for us. We couldn't exactly understand most of what she was saying because she said most of it in Russian, but every person there laughed and had a wonderful time. The woman I spoke with had the name of Beckay (It's pronounced strangely...) and had been in Chicago for nineteen years. She has a daughter who is fifty-three and a grandson who is 25 (Does that tell you anything about how old each elder was? They were all in their 70's or 80's. The man, who mainly talked with Jerold and Brandon, was 86!). About four months ago Beckay's husband passed away. Hearing that after getting to know the woman a little just made my heart hurt; I encourage you who are believers to pray for her and for the other people there. Wonderfully, she said that her daughter and grandson visit her about three times-a-day most days, and she enjoys that a lot.
     At one point, I asked Beckay if she had any hobbies, and her response was, "Ehhh... Vaht's a hobby?" I giggled and said, "It's something you like to do! Singing, reading, dancing..." She said, "Oh! Television? I like television and concert." The sweet woman shared that when she was younger, she enjoyed dancing a lot. She, as well as the other women, would not stop saying how beautiful they thought we were and how happy and grateful they were that we had come to talk with them. I could tell they were all lonely, despite their relationships with each other, and they thought it was so, so great that young people would come and do that for them. "Beautiful, beautiful young girls! Such sweet, beautiful, young girls!!" I couldn't say how many times I heard that come out of their mouths. Before we left I asked if we could pray for them, and they agreed to allowing that. Though most couldn't understand much of what I prayed, they still were thankful and all grins before and after I prayed. I gave each of them a huge hug before we left, and when I hugged Beckay, she wouldn't let go of me. When I embraced the old man, he gave me a kiss on the cheek! This part of my day was one of my favorite parts of the week. After we left the elderly people, we set out to find some children in the park we'd originally gone to find. We found a very, very small group of kids playing and stopped to do some songs for them. Pretty quickly after we showed up and started, one little boy ran over and started dancing to the puppet music. A dad (We later found out that he is from Ethiopia.) brought his two sons over and they went back and forth between smiling out of enjoyment and hiding their heads behind him because they were scared and/or shy. After we did a couple songs, we took the puppets out to them and let them play with and pet them. The dancing boy started out not saying a word to me, but then he began to nod and shake his head. This led to the occasional, "yes," and "no," and then he began saying things like, "Play!" and "Let's swing!!" He had chubby, chubby cheeks and such cute, buck teeth. I played with him for a little bit and then gave him a goodbye-hug because we were heading to some apartments to paint. We walked to the place with Jerold's help and then he left us to do our work. Once we finished we headed back to the church and met the group for supper. Cory treated us with some Chicago pizza, and that turned out to be delicious. I hardly finished one piece...
     On the way over, we road the subway, and it was packed. A busy time of the evening meant most people in our group didn't have seats, and those who did sat by strangers. Once more people starting getting on, it became so crowded that I decided to ask a Philippino woman who I had noticed if I could sit down next to her. We began talking and I shared that I was with my youth group and shared some of the things that we had been doing. She thought it was so great that young people would come and do that, especially willingly and with good attitudes. It was very hard to understand her since she had such a thick accent, but the more I talked with her, the better I could understand her.
   
     She said to me at one point, "So, you are professing Christianity?"
     I said, "Yes, ma'am!"
     Her response was powerful. "I love Jesus Christ."

     I was not expecting to be speaking with a bold witness of our Savior. It's not like I thought she was a lost person, especially for any particular reason, but I was moved by her words.
     She began to tell me about different churches she had been to and shared some stories with me about different ones, and I really enjoyed that. I'm not sure if she has a church home at this time, but I have been hoping and praying since I spoke with her that our conversation sparked something in her. It made me so joyful that she kept saying to me how wonderful and how beautiful she thought I was. I could really tell that she appreciated me, and she couldn't express it how she wanted to. It may sound crazy, but if God ever brought me to her again in this lifetime, I wouldn't want to allow our relationship to cease. She asked about my family and I told her with a smile. I then asked if she had any children, and she said, "No... I could adopt you!" We both laughed, but on the inside I ached. I could already tell that she is a lonely woman, and I wanted to help her. We talked the entire ride, but finally it was time for her to get off. I miss her, but I pray for her and would appreciate it if you began to pray for her, as well.
     After we got back, I, along with five other girls, went to the women's homeless shelter and helped out there. The women's shelter is held in the church building. We cooked their supper, got to know some of the beautiful ladies, and finished the night with cleaning up and giving everyone hugs. By the time we got back to the rooms it was about 11 o'clock and we were all exhausted. Cory decided we'd skip the meeting because everyone was so tired and it was late.
     Wednesday morning our team's praise band led worship through song before Pastor Allen's devotional. That afternoon a smaller group of us stood on the streets outside of Uptown Baptist with tables set up and handed out free water and produce (The produce consisted of carrots and lettuce.). As people passed by, we began to engage them in conversation. Our goal was to be a light for Christ, and I believe that goal was reached. We got to know those street people of Chicago and prayed over whoever let us. After we had supper that evening, we hung out at the rooms for a little bit and then walked to the church. The family set up tables with water at each of the four street corners in front of the church and our praise team sat at the church's front steps, singing praises to God as loud as we could. My voice was so hoarse in the middle of that hour and a half, but the more I sang after a certain point, the stronger it became. We had a meeting that night in closing.
     Thursday was similar to the previous days as far as the typical routine, and in the afternoon I helped paint in the church's nursery and then headed to the beach with some of the others, carrying puppets and excitement for the day. The happenings at the beach went pretty well, and afterward we went to eat and another group of people went to the homeless shelters that night. People who had already been went to beach and swam, and that was definitely a fun time.
     By the time Friday arrived, our group was so, so tired, yet so, so peaceful. After lunch I went with some kids and cleaned up an 85-year-old woman's yard, which took a lot of work. I might add that she had 54 cats! Anyway, that went pretty well, but when she pulled up in her car and got out, her first words were, "Oh, dear me..." It was a bit discouraging, because we had worked so hard, but after we all talked and thought about it later, we realized it didn't matter and since we'd helped her in the long run, the job payed off. After we finished we went to back to the rooms and the entire team had the luxury of going to the beach for the evening. We played beach volleyball, I was buried in the sand, and we swam around for a while. When we went back to our staying area, we ordered some Papa John's pizza and had a good time of fellowship with each other. The week was such a wonderful blessing. 

Friday, July 22, 2011

Track 10

    A friend of mine asked me to tell a story earlier today, so as I was sitting on my bed in another friend's star-and-moon-covered pajama pants, I wanted to create something brief that captured a child-like innocence, filled with wonder and curiosity. Those things inspired me, but as funny as it may sound, the smiling, sleepy moon faces on the pants also inspired me. I don't know if one would call this a story or a poem or just a goofy word from myself, but I wanted to share with my readers! It's a bit sloppy but I enjoy it and its simplicity quite a bit. You may need to read it a couple times to really appreciate it; I know I did. I hope you like it!! I would love feedback! 



"The moon is often bright when it's about two o'clock in the morning. Sometimes the clouds are hiding its beauty, but not because they're mean. Sometimes it's facing the side of the world that we all wish we could go. I wonder if we really want to go there just because we'd be given the chance to see the moon from another perspective. Anyway, I think the moon likes to smile. I think that moon up there grins from one circle-side to the other, and if she had a body, I bet the cute thing would throw her moon-head back, and these people down here would talk about what scientific wonder or what space dilemma caused it. She'd keep up her floatin' and giggle, because we don't realize that it's all so simple. I'd like to think she lies around and hums such calming music, and she's always wished she could twirl around at speeds like those neighboring stars that shoot past her. She doesn't wish she could walk or fly or run, she doesn't sigh about tomorrow or what she's unable to do yesterday. She's a wishing moon and a content moon, and she really likes where she is. You may think I'm crazy, but I think you're stubborn. I think you grew up too quickly and your eyes can't see past your constant hand's covering of them. One day I'd like to go visit the moon. . . I wouldn't chat with her, but I'd probably dance with her. And I think she'd just smile, contently and beautifully, and wonder why more people don't ask her to dance." 








                                 (It reminded me of this children's book I used to read!) 

Monday, July 11, 2011

Track 09

    My insides feel as though someone is tearing them apart from the inside. 
    My insides feel. 
    My hands work the way a new animal cries and 
    tries for its mother. 
    My hands work. 
    My heart beats to the rhythm of this dripping faucet and the steps of the blind. 
    My heart beats. 
    My soul cares for the sick and the pained and the lost and the angry and the blaming. 
    My soul cares. 
    My mind flies like the hand of the inspired, composing author.  

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Track 08

I think there's a piano in the sky, playing music for all the world. I think a piano is in the sky, crashing with the thunder, pouring with the rain, shining with the sun, flying with the birds. The notes are our thoughts, our literature, our strengths and our weaknesses; The chords are our relationships, our sentences, our apologies, our kindness. We dance and we sing and we love and we strive. I think there's a piano in the sky, making music for all to hear. I think a piano is in the sky, sounding music for all to feel.